Reunion|Anagrams|Stories [v6]

SEPTEMBER 1999

GREETINGS — I had a family reunion last week, and had a absolutely wonderful time. Not having seen some of them for, well, tooooo long, we all had much to much to talk about at just this one outing. This got me thinking about what is, or should be, really important about life. Family should be right near the top!

Though we are all members of God’s family (Ephesians 2:19), our families are precious gifts, and we should value and care for them under all circumstances. I would encourage you to pick up the phone and ‘surprise’ a family member you have not talked to lately—or ‘spearhead’ a holiday get-together—you just may be pleasantly ‘surprised’ yourself.
Blessings….
Mark

LIFE’S DEEP THOUGHTS (v6) for SEPTEMBER 1999
(NOTE: Please send your ‘thoughts’ to me at: mbesh@ameritech.net)

Thanx for some of this edition’s material IS GROWING!!! — I am glad to organize and distribute more ‘stuff’ if y’all send it to me…Thank you’s to:

Richard Bachman, Bob Hart, Terry Besh Longo, David Osborne, John Waskin, Suzie Wilkinson and Karen Williams

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ANAGRAMS!!!
An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or
rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.

The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.

When you re-arrange the letters:

Dormitory  =     Dirty Room

The Morse Code  =   Here Come Dots

Slot Machines  =   Cash Lost In ’em

Animosity   =     Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms  =   Alas! No More Z’s

Alec Guinness  =  Genuine Class

Semolina   =      Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries   =   Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point     =     I’m a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes   =     That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two     =     Twelve plus one

Contradiction     =      Accord not in it

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IF I COULD CATCH A RAINBOW,

I WOULD DO IT JUST FOR YOU;

AND SHARE WITH YOU ITS BEAUTY,

ON THE DAYS YOU’RE FEELING BLUE.

IF I COULD BUILD A MOUNTAIN,

YOU COULD CALL YOUR VERY OWN;

A PLACE TO FIND SERENITY,

A PLACE TO BE ALONE.

IF I COULD TAKE YOUR TROUBLES,

I WOULD TOSS THEM INTO THE SEA;

BUT ALL THESE THINGS I’M FINDING,

ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME.

I CANNOT BUILD A MOUNTAIN,

OR CATCH A RAINBOW FAIR;

BUT LET ME BE WHAT I KNOW BEST,

A FRIEND THAT’S ALWAYS THERE.

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If a child lives with criticism…he learns to condemn;
If a child lives with security…he learns to have faith;

If a child lives with hostility…he learns to fight;
If a child lives with fairness…he learns justice;

If a child lives with ridicule…he learns to be shy;
If a child lives with praise…he learns to appreciate;

If a child lives with shame…he learns to feel guilty;
If a child lives with encouragement…he learns confidence;

If a child lives with tolerance…he learns to be patient;
If a child lives with approval…he learns to like himself;

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship…
He learns to find love in the world!

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An oak tree and a reed were arguing about their strength. When a strong wind came up, the reed avoided being uprooted by bending and leaning with the gusts of wind. But the oak stood firm and was torn up by the roots.

Aesop

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A six year-old girl had been praying for a baby brother for months. So, she was overcome with joy when she saw her new twin brothers.

That night her prayer was this happy thank-you: “Dear God, thank you for sending be a baby brother. But I thought you would like to know he arrived in two pieces!”

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After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Steven Wright

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CREATIVITY:
It’s simple, you just take something and do it. Then you do something else to it. Pretty soon you’ve got something.

Jasper Johns

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Starter: I’m sorry, sir, we have no time open on the course today.

Golfer: Wait a minute. What if Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus showed up? I’m sure you’d find a starting time for them.

Starter: Of course we would, sir.

Golfer: Well, I happen to know they’re not coming, so we’ll take their time.

Bruce Lansky

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DAFFYNITION:
Budget n. 1. a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.

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REALITY:
Gripes and whining aren’t the answer;
The odds some face are worse than bad.
But we must play the hand we’ve dealt;
And not the one we wish we had.

Art Buck

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Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather, it is “timing”; it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.

Fulton J. Sheen

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A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his
5-year-old son waiting for him at the door.

“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure. What is it?” replied the father.

“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?”

“That’s none of you business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the father
said angrily.

“I just wanted to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”
pleaded the little boy.

“If you must know, I make $20 an hour.”

Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $9 please?”

The father was furious.

” If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you’re being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don’t have time for such childish games.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The father sat down and started to get even madder about his little boy’s
questioning. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money. After an hour or so he calmed down. He started to think he might have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $9 and he didn’t ask for money very often.

The father went to his son’s room and opened the door.

“Are you asleep, son?” he asked.

“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the father.

“It’s been a long day and I took my aggravations out on you. Here’s that $9
you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, beaming.

“Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills.

The father, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry
again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.

Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?”

Share this story with someone you like, but even better, share $20 worth of
time with someone you LOVE.

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BreakPoint Commentary #90811 – 8/11/1999
Holy Moses, A Biblical Cartoon! :
Dreamworks’ Prince of Egypt
by Charles Colson
(www.breakpoint.org)

Imagine that Hollywood made a film about a biblical figure that was actually true to Scripture–and most Christians didn’t even go see it.

Well, Hollywood did make such a movie.  I’m talking about The Prince of Egypt, the first animated feature from a company called Dreamworks. The good news is that the film has just come out on video.  The bad news is when the film was in the theaters Christians did not respond to it as enthusiastically as the filmmakers had hoped.  And that means we may not be seeing many films like it in the future.

Dreamworks is a film studio formed a few years ago by director Steven Spielberg and former Disney executive Jeff Katzenberg, who is credited with the success of such Disney blockbusters as Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King.

Dreamworks did everything right in making and marketing The Prince of Egypt, consulting with scores of religious leaders to get feedback on early drafts of the story.  The company deserves credit showing genuine respect to people of faith–unusual for Hollywood studios.

Dreamworks even planned to begin production on a film about another biblical character: Joseph.  But because response to the Prince of Egypt was disappointing, Dreamworks put this project on hold. What a shame!

Christians ought to be the first to show their support when talented people produce biblical epics instead of the kind of politically correct fairytales Disney typically churns out. New York Post film critic Rod Dreher called the animation in The Prince of Egypt “extraordinarily rich and detailed, even awe-inspiring.”  And indeed it is.  The film contains a surprisingly accurate portrayal of the life of Moses, from his basket journey down the Nile, to his youth in Pharaoh’s palace, to his emergence as the deliverer of his people. In fact, it’s the sort of entertainment believers have prayed for years.

Is it possible Hollywood was just too late?  Have we Christians become so cynical about Tinsel Town that we’ve turned our backs on it–even when it comes out with a marvelous family film?

Let’s hope not–not only for the sake of our kids, who need wholesome entertainment, but also for the sake of nonbelievers, who need to see films that communicate the hope that can only be found in God.  A dear friend of mine who is a religious skeptic saw The Prince of Egypt with his kids and soon afterward began reading the Book of Exodus for the first time.

When it comes to great stories and great dramas, nothing beats the real life drama we find in the pages of Scripture.  But if we want filmmakers to take us seriously when we complain about depraved films, we had better applaud them when they make movies we can take the whole family to see.

If your kids haven’t seen The Prince of Egypt, why not consider renting or even buying the video? Good sales of the film just might lead Dreamworks to go ahead with its plans to bring out another film based on the scriptures.

And it, too, just might point moviegoers toward the ultimate Bible story–the greatest story ever told.

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A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot the plane started to go down.

Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world, I deserve to live!” He grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry, Father. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just took off with my back pack.”

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STRANGE BUT TRUE…
–If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee (so why bother yelling!).
–Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
–On average, people fear spiders more than they do death (my daughter, Arielle).
–The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
–Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
–Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
–A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
–The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
–A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
–Butterflies taste with their feet.
–Elephants is the only animal that can’t jump.
–An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
–Starfishes don’t have brains.

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THIS IS GOOD!
The story is told of a king who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is good!”

One day the king and his friend were on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. In preparing one of the guns, the friend had apparently done something wrong, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.

Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!” To which the king replied, “No, this is NOT good!” and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in a dangerous area. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to it.  As they approached to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb.  Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So after untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend.  He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.  You were right,” he said, “it was good that my thumb was blown off.”  And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. “And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long.  It was bad for me to do this.”

“No,” his friend replied, “This is good!”

“What do you mean, ‘This is good’? How could it be good that I sent my
friend to jail for a year?”

“If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you.”

Situations may not always seem pleasant while we are in them, but the promise of God is clear. If we love him and live our lives according to his precepts, even that which seems to be bleak and hopeless will be turned by God for His glory and our benefit.  Hold on…God is faithful!

Source Unknown

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Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caught so often?

When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Jack pulled over, but only partially. Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard. Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror. The cop was stepping out of his car, the big pad in hand. Bob? Bob from church? Jack sunk farther into his trench coat. This was worse than the coming ticket. A Christian cop catching a guy from his own church. A guy who happened to be a little eager to get home after a long day at the office. A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow.

Jumping out of the car, he approached a man he saw every Sunday, a man he’d never seen in uniform. “Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this.”
“Hello, Jack.” No smile.

“Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my wife and kids.” “Yeah, I guess.”
Bob seemed uncertain. Good. “I’ve seen some long days at the office lately. I’m afraid I bent the rules a bit–just this once.”

Jack toed at a pebble on the pavement. “Diane said something
about roast beef and potatoes tonight. Know what I mean?”

“I know what you mean. I also know that you have a reputation in our precinct.”

Ouch. This was not going in the ‘right’ direction. Time to change tactics. “What’d you clock me at?”
“Seventy-one. Would you sit back in your car, please?” “Now wait a minute here, Bob. I checked as soon as I saw you. I was barely nudging 65.”

The lie seemed to come easier with every ticket. “Please, Jack, in the car.”
Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard. He was in no rush to open the window.

The minutes ticked by. Bob scribbled away on the pad. Why hadn’t he asked for a driver’s license? Whatever the reason, it would be a month of  Sundays before Jack ever sat near this cop again. A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There was Bob, a folded paper in hand. Jack rolled down the window a mere two inches, just enough room for Bob to pass him the slip.

“Thanks.” Jack could not quite keep the sneer out of his voice. Bob returned to his car without a word. Jack watched his retreat in the mirror. Jack unfolded the sheet of paper. How much was this one going to cost? Wait a minute. What was this? Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket. Jack began to read:

“Dear Jack,
Once upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it – a speeding driver. A fine and three months in jail,  and the man was free. Free to hug his daughters. All three of them. I only had one, and  I’m going to have to wait until heaven before I can ever hug her again. A thousand times I’ve tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me. And be careful. My son is all I have left.
Bob”

Jack…twisted around in time to see Bob’s car pull away and head down the road. Jack watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he, too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.

Life is precious. Handle with care.

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TOWER OF BABEL?
An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.” To the Irishman he says “You’re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.” He then says “Now, I have to leave for a little while. “I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.”

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?” The Italian replies in a heavy accent, “I did nota hava no broom. You a said to the Chinese a guy thata he a was a in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I could no find a him.”

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn’t shovel.  The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, “Aye, ye did lad. But I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in chairge of supplies, but I counna fin’ him.”

The foreman is really angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells……”SUPPLIES!!!”

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YOU’RE LOST BETWEEN “BABY BOOMER” AND “GENERATION X” IF…

You were once ‘bowled over’ by the technological excellence of such products as Atari, IntelliVision, TelStar and Coleco.

You remember the premier of MTV–or worse yet, you remember its
predecessor, “Friday Night Videos.”

You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.

You rode in the back of the station wagon facing the cars behind you.

Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like
grammar, math and history. (A big hint here is if the only way you can
recite the Preamble to the Constitution is by singing it.)

You remember, with pain, the day the Green Machine hit the streets (or
the sidewalks), instantly making your Big Wheel obsolete.

You remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly have more advanced special effects than “TRON.”

Your hair at some point in time in the ’80s could only be described by saying “I was experimenting.”

You know who shot J.R.

You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on (related item: you were sure that “New Coke” would NEVER catch on).

You remember when movies were only PG and R.

Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table.

You remember having a rotary phone.

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AN UNHEARD PRIVILEGE

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for the last three months.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for $15.00 to feed her family.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all
about, asking “what is my purpose,” Be thankful, there are those who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse.
You could be them!!!

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WONDERINGS…
Have you ever noticed?  Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

You have to stay in shape.  My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we have no idea where she is.

I am in shape….’round’ is a shape!

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.  Think of your three best friends.  If they are okay, then it’s you.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.

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An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“Come on God, give me a break!!” the man pleaded. “two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

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BEFORE COMPUTERS
An application was for employment;
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity;
A keyboard was a piano.

Compress was something you did to the garbage;
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public;
You’d be in jail for a while!

Log on was adding wood to the fire;
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived;
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut you did with a pocket knife;
Paste you did with glue.
A web was a spider’s home;
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper,
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

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A BLACK MAN’S OBSERVATIONS

When I was born……………….. I was BLACK
When I grow up………………… I am BLACK
When I am sick…………………. I am BLACK
When I go out in the sun……….I am BLACK
When I go out in the cold………I am BLACK
When I die……………………….. I am BLACK

but you white folk…

When you are born……………… You were PINK
When you grow up……………… You are WHITE
When you are sick………………..You turn GREEN
When you go out in the sun…….You turn RED
When you go out in the cold….. You turn BLUE
When you die…………………….. You turn PURPLE

And you have the nerve to call me “COLORED”?!!

Dr. John Perkins (at Promise Keepers)

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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to
borrow.

The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, Sure. I have this, and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants
to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral. She holds up the tiny pink elephant. I mean, what the heck is this?

The bank manager looks back at her and says: “It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

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IMPORTANT THINGS LIFE TEACHES YOU…

1.  Most Important Question

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop
quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘hello’. “I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2.  Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing
on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her – generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry! She wrote down his address, thanked him and drove away.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes but my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.”
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole

3.  Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy
entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. “How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wipin down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies—her tip.

4.  The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one’s condition.

5. Giving ‘Everything’

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save Liz.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?” Being young, the
boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister ALL of his blood. Attitude, after all, is everything.

6. Yes, Attitude is Everything

Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching.

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HOUSEHOLD TIPS THAT LAST A LIFETIME
* Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to  prevent ice cream drips.

* Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle to get perfect shaped pancakes every time.

* To keep potatoes from budding,  place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

* To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

* Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan—the marshmallow won’t stick to your fingers.

* To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

* To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top-skillet will be much easier to clean now.

* Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces—no more stains.

* When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead—no white mess on the outside of the cake.

* If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato—it absorbs the excess salt for an instant “fix me up”.

* Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator—it will keep for weeks.

* Brush beaten egg whites over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful, glossy finish.

* Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.

* When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corns natural sweetness.

* To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh-if it rises to the  surface, throw it away.

* Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

* Don’t throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cube for future use in casseroles and sauces.

* If you have problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

* Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers.  Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

* To get rid of itch from mosquito bite:  try applying soap on the area for instant relief.

* Ants, ants, ants everywhere… Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line.  So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march—see for yourself.

* Use air-freshener to clean mirrors:  It does a good job and better still, leave a lovely smell to the shine.

* When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

* Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush, and flush.  The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

* Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

* Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

* Clean a thermos bottle.  Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or  longer, if necessary).

* Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar.  Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

* If your VCR has a year setting on it, which most do, you will not be able to use the programmed recording feature after  12/31/99. Don’t throw it away.  Instead set it for the year 1972 as the days are the same as the year 2000.  The manufacturers won’t tell you. They want you to buy a new Y2K VCR.

*****************************
SUNDAY SCHOOL KIDS
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle,
carrying lighted candles.  All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, “Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you…”
—————
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
School.

“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely.  He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”

“Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?” his mother
asked.

Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!
—————-
A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had
learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly.  It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really “Gladly The Cross I’d Bear.”
—————
A four-year-old Catholic boy was playing with a 4-year-old Protestant
girl in a plastic wading pool in the back yard.  They splashed a lot of water on each other; their clothes were soaking wet, so they decide to take off the wet clothes.

The little boy looked at the little girl and said, “Golly, I didn’t know there was THAT much difference between Catholics and Protestants,”
—————
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.  Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I
made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t
warned.”

*****************************
FROM “THE WORLD OF MARY CHAMBERS”

Getting teenagers out of bed is a breeze…just say “First one up gets the only hot shower!”

Is the house a mess? Just paste pictures from your favorite home decorating magazine inside a cardboard box to create your own low-budget “virtual reality” helmet!

And the seven magic words that will get the kids to put themselves to bed are…”Want to help me fold the laundry?”

*****************************
AN INTERVIEW WITH GOD

“Come in,” God said  to me, “So, you would  like to interview Me?”

“If you have the time,” I said.

God smiled and said:  “My time is called eternity and is enough to do everything; what questions do you have in mind to ask Me?”

“None that are new to You. What’s the one thing that surprises You
most about mankind?”

God answered: “That they get bored of being  children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.  That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future. That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived… ”

God’s hands took mine and we were silent.

After a long period, I said, “May I ask You another  question? As a
Parent, what would  You ask Your children to do?”

God replied with a  smile: “To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What is important is who they love. To learn that it takes years to build trust, and a few seconds to destroy it. To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives. To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. There will be others better or worse than they are. To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least. To learn that they should control their attitudes, otherwise their attitudes will control them. To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them. To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness. To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to show their feelings. To learn that money can buy everything but happiness. To learn that while at times they may be entitled to be upset, that does not give them the right to upset those around them. To learn that great dreams do not require great wings, but a landing gear to achieve.  To learn that true friends are scarce, he/she who has found one has found a true treasure. To learn that it is not always enough that  they be forgiven by others, but that they forgive themselves. To learn that they are masters of what  they keep to themselves and slaves of what they say. To learn that they shall reap what they plant; if they plant gossip they will harvest intrigues, if they plant love they will harvest happiness. To learn that true happiness is not to achieve their goals but to learn who they are through striving towards them. To learn that happiness is a decision. They decide to be happy with what they are and have, or die from envy and jealousy of what they lack. To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different. To learn that those who are honest with themselves without considering the consequences go far in life. To learn that even though they may think they have nothing to give, when a friend cries with them, they find the strength to appease the pain. To learn that by trying to hold on to loved ones, they very quickly push them away; and by letting go of those they love, they will be side by side forever. To  learn that even though the word “love” has many different meanings, it loses value when it is overstated. To learn that they can never do something  extraordinary for Me to love them; I simply do. To learn that the  shortest distance they could be from Me is the distance of a prayer.”

*****************************
NOT TOO SWIFT…

1) Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

2) I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large new motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in “Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich.

3) She’s been doing temp work at various offices. At one place she became the resident expert on the photocopy machine. One day there was a big backup. She went over to help and found that no one knew how to stop the copier from “punching” three holes down the side of each copy. She opened the paper tray, removed the three-hole paper and solved the problem.

*****************************
MOTIVATIONAL THOUGHTS:

* The body manifests what the mind harbors–life is a self fulfilling prophecy

* You can ALWAYS find some value in someone

* Make the other person feel glad they talked with you

* Plan the future, live the present, and analyze the past

* Time IS the most important resource

* We move in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts

* A SINCERE compliment is one of the most effective teaching and motivational methods in existence!

* You can best get to the top by getting to the bottom of things

* Success is not a destination, it’s a journey—-it’s the direction in which you are traveling

* No one on the face of this earth can make you feel inferior without your permission

* The most destitute person in the world is the one without a SMILE

* Life is an echo–What you send out-comes back—What you sow-you reap—What you give-you get—What you see in others-exists in you!

* A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could

* You may give out, but NEVER give up!

* The way you ‘see’ a person is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is the way they often become!—see the good in them and that is what they will develop

* How to ‘make’ a happy marriage: Take Love and Loyalty and mix thoroughly with Faith—Blend it with Tenderness, Kindness, and Understanding—Add Friendship and Hope—Sprinkle abundantly with Laughter—Bake it with Sunshine—Serve generous helpings daily.

* A person without a goal is like a ship without a rudder—it will drift aimlessly

* Go as far as you can see and when you get there, you will always be able to see further

* A goal casually set and lightly taken is freely abandoned at the first obstacle!

* If you make a goal your own and it puts your CREDIBILITY at stake, the incentive for reaching the goal is built in—share some of your goals with those close to you, the ones that will HELP you reach it

* You don’t PAY the price, you ENJOY the price!!—Renoir suffered from arthritis and his friend Matisse ask him why he persisted to paint at the expense of such torture?–Renoir said “The pain passes, but the beauty remains”

* Garbage in, garbage out–output in determined by the input!

* The mind works like a garden—if you plant beans, you won’t raise potatoes-you will raise beans—and you don’t plan to raise ‘a’ bean, you plan to raise LOTS of beans—that’s how the mind works—whatever you plant in the mind is going to come up multiplied!

* This is the day the Lord hath made. Rejoice and be glad in it!—-You’re lucky to be alive, make SOMETHING of it!

* When you sow an action, you reap a habit; when you sow a habit, you reap a character; and when you sow a character, you reap destiny!

* Ever notice when you’re at a lake looking at the sail boats whisking around, that they are going in all kinds of directions, but the wind is coming from only on direction?—The ‘set’ of the sail is what determines the direction—man can decide to ‘set’ his direction ANY way he wants!

* Ever notice how a flaming fire will ‘die’ down and smolder after a while?–but when you stir them up with your poker the flames almost immediately shoot up and you have a beautiful, flaming fire again—but if you leave them unattended for too long, they will die ‘out’—this also goes for the mind; you need to learn an attitude that is so automatic (subconscious) that it ‘pokes’ or stimulates you into a ‘roaring fire’ again

*****************************
There is nothing more irritating than the annoyance of a good example.

Mark Twain

*****************************
What Is A Brother?

Brothers can be older or younger,
and sometimes even your twin.
But even though they are older or younger,
you never seem to win.

An older brother likes to pull rank,
and show you who is boss.
But in times of trouble, he will defend you
no matter what the cost.

Who our brothers are,
we usually don’t have a choice,
So, we accept them with a great pride
and sometimes we just rejoice.

The role of a brother changes
as he gets smarter and older,
His image of a sibling role model,
becomes more profound and bolder.

In a fatherless home,
he would be cool to have around,
Cause a role model of a father,
through him could be found.

Your brother can be your confidant,
no matter if he’s young or old,
Many secrets between siblings
have been told and told and told.

And if you ever become friendless
and need a true blue friend,
A brother is there to comfort and befriend you,
seeing you thru the thick or thin.

A brother listens to your problems,
when he has the time and you feel the need,
Some good advice he can give–
good advice indeed!

As a sister, don’t ever have a problem with a boyfriend,
especially one he doesn’t like,
His protective nature, will quickly tell that boyfriend
“Take a hike.”

A brother can bring joy to a family,
good hugs, laughs and fun
I thank God that he gave me two big brothers
and not just one.

Author Unknown

*****************************
How do you measure success?
To laugh often and much.
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.
To appreciate the beauty and find the best in others.
To leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, a redeemed social condition or a job well done.
To know even one other life has breathed easier because you have lived
This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

*****************************
I asked God for strength to achieve,
I was made weak to learn and obey.
I asked for health to do great things,
I was given infirmity to do better things.
I asked for riches to be happy,
I was given poverty to be wise.
I asked for power for praise of men,
I was given weakness to feel the need of God.
I asked for all things to enjoy life,
I was given life to enjoy all things.
Nothing I had asked for,
All I had hoped for.

Jim Hansberger

*****************************
Our Children Ask Of Us To….
Accept me…when others engage in comparisons;
Pause with me…when others hurry by;
Walk with me…when others have too little time;
Listen to me…when others are too preoccupied;
Read with me…when others prefer television;
Talk with me…when others prefer shouting;
Praise me…when others can find only fault;
Believe in me…when others offer no encouragement;
Play with me…when others prefer being entertained;
Discipline me…when others fail to set limits;
Learn with me…when others have foresaken curiosity;
Laugh with me…when others fail to see any humor;
Challenge me…when others accept less than my best;
Create with me…when others settle for the ready-made;
Pray with me…when others have lost faith;
Hug me…and remind me how much I am loved;
Dream with me…and discover all I would like to be.

Anthony P. Witham

*****************************
Just about the time you finally learn all the answers, they change all the questions!

*****************************
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!

Joey Adams

*****************************
BELIEVE IT OR NOT…
Dust protects furniture.

*****************************
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

Hugh Downs

*****************************
IN THE LIGHT by dc Talk

I keep tying to find a life –
On my own apart from You –
I am the king of excuses –
I’ve got one for every selfish thing I do –

What’s going on inside of me? –
I despise my own behavior –
This only serves to confirm my suspicions –
That I’m still a man in need of a Savior –

I wanna be in the Light –
As You are in the Light –
I wanna shine like the stars in the Heavens –
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation –
‘Cause all I want is to be in the Light –
All I want is to be in the Light –

The disease of self runs through my blood –
It’s a cancer fatal to my soul –
Every attempt on my behalf has failed –
To bring this sickness under control –

Honesty becomes me –
(There’s nothing left to lose)
The secrets that did run me –
(In Your presence are defused)
Pride has no position –
(And riches have no worth)
The fame that once did cover me –
(Has been sentenced to this earth)
Has been sentenced to this earth –

From their album “Jesus Freak”

*****************************
A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end.  “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail, Amen.

*****************************
*****************************

Hope you enjoyed some of these insights—share them with your friends and colleagues—so we can have a larger ‘pool’ to receive from, and more to share with!

Also, remember to include your name as the “source,” if some of this wisdom is of your doing—I would like to give credit where credit is due!
Mark

*****************************
*****************************

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