‘Remembrance’ [v173]

JULY 2013

‘Remembrance’

Just a week or so ago was the first ‘anniversary’ of my dad’s passing—combined with it being just a week after Father’s Day, I am still feeling a bit of a ‘hole’ in my life.

So, if we remember our “fallen warriors” on Memorial Day, shouldn’t we also  remember our ‘family warriors’ (father’s) life, too?

Well, for me, I looked at a bunch of pictures of him, and watched the “This Is Your Life” videos I created for his 75th birthday—’reliving’ some of the great memories I had of him.


[ FYI: If you are interested, you can watch them here (small versions):

“This Is Your Life” videos:
http://www.spiritedesign.com/misc/30-52-Childhood-cdrom.mov
http://www.spiritedesign.com/misc/53-70-Marriage-cdrom.mov
http://www.spiritedesign.com/misc/71-90-SingleDad-cdrom.mov
http://www.spiritedesign.com/misc/91-06-Retired-cdrom.mov  ].

Golf Swing:
http://www.spiritedesign.com/misc/05-DadSwingingDriver.mov
http://www.spiritedesign.com/misc/05-DadSwingingIron.mov


As I watched, I realized how he was always trying to teach me a thing or two…

Dad Taught Me How to Work:
He taught me to do my best—all the time (even when the ‘boss’ wasn’t looking)—and continue to improve. [ After he “retired” from Ford Motor Company, he ‘ran’ a model shop, then was the Ford ‘interface’ at Budd Company (which he also “retired” from). But then…he worked as a “Ranger/Starter” at Oakland University’s Katke-Cousins/Sharf golf courses ].

Dad Taught Me How to Save Money:
He always told me to put a little away for “when life happens”—then when it does (and it did!), you don’t have to be all ‘stressed out’ trying to figure out how you’re going to pay for it, or go into debt and eventually paying two-to-three times for it.
[ He even ‘passed up’ doing things in his retirement, just so he could leave us kids an inheritance! ].

Dad Taught Me How to Play Sports:
He taught me the proper way to skate and shoot a puck (like a ‘lefty’), hit and throw a baseball, dribble and shoot a basketball, put spin on a tennis ball, and ‘crush’ a golf ball. All of it taught me discipline and coordination. [ He was recruited by the Detroit Tigers farm club, and had a single-digit golf handicap most of his life—even into his late 70’s! ].

Dad Taught Me How to Change:
He said that the only thing you can count on in life, is ‘change’—so he prepared me to be able to do many ‘things’ well. [ He even became an ‘evangelist’ for using computer-aided design software at Ford Motor, even though, at first, he didn’t think it would work as well—a REALLY BIG change for body engineering at Ford! ].

Dad Taught Me How to be Persistent:
He quoted Winston Churchill to me: “Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give in. Never give in. Never give in. Never give in.” This served me well over the years in many instances. [ He worked his way up the corporate ‘ladder’—from a wood “model maker” to the Manager of Tooling Aids for large cars at Ford Motor Company ].

Dad Taught Me How to Cook:
He taught me the ‘proper’ way to prepare all kinds of ‘elegant’ dishes—especially chicken—which turned out to be one of the simplest and tastiest (It was all about prep and process). [ In his early years, he was a chef for the “Recess Club”—an exclusive restaurant only for GM executives ].

Dad Taught Me How to Buy Quality:
He told me that an item might cost a bit more at the outset, but it would last longer, and therefore, be less expensive in the long run. [ My business partner, Bob, is still using the DeWalt radial arm saw (and the router) that my dad used to build hundreds of tables, cabinets, and wall ‘hangings’—which he bought in the mid 1950’s! ].

Dad Taught Me Common Sense:
He taught me how to logically, step-by-step, analyze a problem, and then apply knowledge and experience to make a sound and prudent judgement based on the facts. [ Even though he just finished high school, many people commented on his intuitive and practical knowledge (Gram-pa had a lot to do with this—first generation American, and a watchmaker) ].

Dad Taught Me to Have a Mechanical Aptitude:
He would always show me how things came apart—but then made me put them back together. I can pretty much ‘visualize’ how something is made, and how to most efficiently fix it. [ He did, pretty much, fix anything himself ].

Dad Taught Me the Value of Education:
He always made sure we finished our homework—couldn’t do anything else until we did (I now see all the ‘insight’ in that—knowledge, perseverance, and the feeling of successful completion). [ He ‘successfully completed’ an apprenticeship program for wood model making, and later in his career, to be considered for a management position, he went to ‘school’ after work for three years, while bringing up three kids without a mother (she passed when he was 39, and I was 14 ].

Dad Taught Me How to Listen:
He said God gave us two ears and one mouth, so that we could listen twice as much as we talked—and that we could only learn something when we were listening. [ He was patient to listen to what you said, but then would tell you the “right way” to do it! (Frustrating, but he was right most of the time) ].

Dad Taught Me How to be Frugal:
He taught me that we didn’t need the latest, greatest right now—because it will be on sale in the near future! [ He picked up some fantastic buys at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, e-Bay, Kohl’s, and the Salvation Army all the time—now I do! ].

Dad Taught Me How to be Thankful:
He taught me to be grateful about things people had done for me, and how to genuinely tell people “thank you.” [ He was always sending a note, taking someone to ‘dinner’, or making something to say “thank you” to someone that did something for him ].

Dad Taught Me How to be Helpful:
He showed me, by example, how to be helpful: [ He responded to calls for help at all hours of the night—primarily from wives of guys that drank too much and realized that my dad probably knew where they might be and would go and get them and bring them home. He was also especially helpful if you were hitting a slice! ].

Dad Taught Me How to Never Quit:
He taught me that quitting wasn’t an option—in any situation—and that I should see it thru to fruition (because of the learning/growing opportunities along the way). [ Stubborn, pretty much, ‘meticulous’, absolutely—and he never gave up! (even thru his cancer treatments) ].

Dad Taught Me How to Never Stop Learning:
He was always encouraging me to constantly be learning new things—giving me newspaper/magazine clippings, and then more recently, sending me links to stuff he found on the Internet. [ He learned a new word every day for his last 50 years!—though most of them you’ve probably never heard before! ].

Dad Taught Me How to Follow God:
Though he did not ‘wear his religion on his sleeve’, he sent me to Parochial school, and took us to church every Sunday (and continued to go weekly even after we all moved out of the house). [ Though he wasn’t one to ‘study’ the Bible much, he did believe in the God of the Bible, and that “prayer changed things” ].

Dad Taught Me How to be a Man:
He taught me to be ‘strong’ (not to complain), and to ‘stick up’ for myself and others. He taught me to be disciplined, take responsibility for my actions, and keep my promises. He taught me integrity, character, and how to have a sense of purpose. He taught me to be ‘orderly’, and how to keep a relatively clean house. He taught me to be respectful of others, and be a role model to my children. [ He ‘modeled’ these and other traits to me, all of the time ].

Dad Taught Me How to be a ‘Father’:
He taught me how to love and respect a wife, and be a great provider for his children. He taught me how to ‘protect’ family members with all my might. He gave liberally of his time to family activities, and just spending time with us. [ He would forgo things for himself so one of the family members could have something ].

My dad taught me many great things when I was growing up, which I continually strive to put into practice for myself. What he passed down to me are life lessons that ultimately represent what being a father is all about.


In the Bible, in the Book of Proverbs it says: “My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life” [Proverbs 6:20].

So, now it up to me to continue the legacy my dad ‘passed on’ to me (which essentially started with me grandfather—first generation in the U.S.). Now, as part of our legacy, it’s up to me to pass along “the best” to my children!

I say, “the best,” because of course, my dad was not perfect—and nor am I. But, there is a ‘Father’ that IS perfect, the God of the Bible, and if we want, He is oh so willing to help us pass along a ‘perfect’ legacy—His Word, the Bible.


All this to say, it’s pretty simple for me—Love God with everything you got, and love others as you love yourself. That’s it. That’s the ‘legacy’ I want to leave!

Jesus said: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” [Mark 12:30-31].

Even though I don’t do it well all the time, and it will take me my entire life to even get close to doing it well all the time, I think having a ‘desire’ to achieve doing it is as good as I can do here on earth.


So, have you remembered what you were taught?  What have you been teaching to your children and those who are ‘in’ you life?

What ‘legacy’ are you working on to leave?


[ Excerpts from: Ronald E. George Jr. ]


[P.S.: If you would like to investigate how to leave a ‘legacy’, visit the following link:
http://www.thesearchformeaning.net/sfm_pres/sp_q12_d6_3of10.html


LIFE’S DEEP THOUGHTS (v173) for JULY 2013
If you have a ‘neat’ story or some thoughts about an issue or current event that you would like me to try to respond to, I would be glad to give it a try…so, send them to me at: mbesh@comcast.net

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MEMORIAL PLAQUE
Talking about ‘remembrances’, the golf courses my dad worked at for over 20 years, “Katke-Couzins” (and “The Sharf”), were very generous and installed a “memorial plaque” next to the putting green.

The following is some links to a picture of the plaque, and some pics of the course and the new clubhouse:

Memorial Plaque (“If you have the proper ‘grip’ on life, you will stay out of the ‘bunkers’!”):
http://www.spiritedesign.com/GeneBesh-MemorialPlaque-KatkeCousinsGolfCourse.jpg

New clubhouse (2012):
http://www.spiritedesign.com/KatkeCousinsClubhouse-RochesterHillsMichigan.jpg

He hit a couple of ‘holes-in-one’ on then hole number 3 (now 12) [ on the second shot! ]:
http://www.oakland.edu/?id=10466&sid=65
http://www.spiritedesign.com/KatkeCousins-HoleNumber3.jpg

More info about Katke-Cousins golf course:
http://www.oakland.edu/golf/katke

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THROUGH THE EYES OF MY FATHER
From the start you were first
He loves you at your worst
He’ll do anything, a father
He shows you what love is
Saw your dreams before you did
He’ll give everything, like your Heavenly Father
I see God in my father’s eyes, I see God

A father’s like the Father in the way he loves you
A father’s like the Father when he carries you through
I am my father’s daughter as I’m loving another
See love from my Father in Heaven
Through the eyes of my father on Earth

A strong hand as your guide
Feel his strength by your side
He’ll give anything, a father
Feels your pain when you do
Has the words to give you
He is everything, like your Heavenly Father
I see love in my father’s eyes, I see love

A father’s like the Father in the way he loves you
A father’s like the Father when he carries you through
I am my father’s daughter as I’m loving another
See love from my Father in Heaven
Through the eyes of my father on Earth
I see God in my father’s eyes, I see God

A father’s like the Father in the way he loves you
A father’s like the Father when he carries you through
I am my father’s daughter as I’m loving another
See love from my Father in Heaven.
Through the eyes of my father on Earth.
Through the eyes of my father on Earth.
Through the eyes of my father on Earth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7SH9eP7Q_o

[Words and music by Brianna Haynes ]

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SOME OF MY DAD’S FAVORITE SAYINGS
– “Measure twice, cut once.”
– “I need to ‘field test’ this club.”
– “The calendar takes care of everything.”
– “Prayer changes things.”
– “Details, details, details.”
– “Basta” [ Enough is enough! ]
– “Come stai” [ How are you? ]
– “If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”
– “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit  salad.”
– “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
– “Either God or the devil is in the details—it’s up to you to choose.”
– “It’s not what you get, but what you give that counts.”
– “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between the lightening and the lightening bug.”
– “Feelings are everywhere—be gentle.”
– “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
– “Yesterday is a cancelled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is ready cash—so use it!”
– “God created us equal, we make ourselves different.”
– “It’s what you learn after you know it all, that counts.”
– “It’s a funny thing—you work all your life for a certain goal and then somebody moves the posts on you.”
– “People only do their best at things they truly enjoy.”
– “We live in an age of haste—some people look at an egg and expect it to crow!”
– “Regrets tomorrow may be better than frustration today.”
– “If there’s any secret to success, it’s the ability to surround yourself with people who know what they are doing.”
– “Today, too much time is spent trying to solve the wrong problem—like polishing brass on a sinking ship.”

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SOME WORDS I HEARD MY DAD USE
(Obtuse, but pretty normal concepts)
– Abderian: Given to incessant or idiotic laughter
– Abecedarian: A person who is learning the alphabet
– Abligurition: Excessive spending on food and drink
– Accubation: The practice of eating or drinking while lying down
– Adoxography: Skilled writing on an unimportant subject
– Aeolist: A pompous windy bore who pretends to have inspiration
– Agelast: A person who never laughs
– Agerasia: The state of looking younger than one actually is
– Agraffe: The wire that holds the cork in a champagne bottle
– Alphamegamia: The marriage between a young woman and an older man
– Anopisthography: The practice of writing on one side of the paper
– Apodyopsis: The act of mentally undressing someone
– Autohagiographer: One who speaks or writes in a smug fashion about their own life and accomplishments
– Autolatry: The worship of one’s self
– Autotonsorialist: One who cuts their own hair
– Basorexia: An overwhelming desire to neck or kiss
– Bathykolpian: Deep-bosomed
– Blandiloquent: Speaking in a flattering or ingratiating manner
– Bletcherous: Pertaining to something poorly or disgustingly designed
– Bombilate: To loudly hum or buzz continuously
– Borborygmus: The rumbling sound of gas passing through the intestine
– Brevirostrate: Having a short nose
– Bromidrosis: Strongly smelling perspiration
– Brontide: The low rumbling of distant thunder
– Cachinnation: Loud or hysterical laughter
– Cacoethes: A bad habit or insatiable urge
– Cagamosis: An unhappy marriage
– Cancatervate: To heap up into a pile
– Capernoited: Slightly intoxicated or tipsy
– Cataglottism: Kissing using the tongue, French kissing
– Causeuse: A sofa built for two people
– Charientism: An artfully veiled insult
– Cheiloproclitic: Being attracted to a person’s lips
– Chirotonsor: An alternate title for a barber
– Cleptobiosis: The act of plundering food
– Clithridiat: Key-hole-shaped
– Concilliabule: A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot
– Cruciverbalist: One who loves doing crossword puzzles
– Dactylion: The tip of the middle finger
– Dactylonomy: Counting using one’s fingers
– Decubitis: The act or attitude of lying down
– Defenestrate: To throw out of a window
– Dehisce: To burst open, as the pod of a plant
– Dentiloquent: Pertaining to one who talks through their teeth
– Dephlogisticate: To make something fireproof
– Digamy: A second marriage after the death or divorce of a previous spouse
– Dippoldism: The act of beating or whipping school children
– Dompteuse: A woman who trains animals
– Eccedentesiast: One who fakes a smile, as on television
– Emunction: The act of removing obstructions from or cleaning bodily passages
– Estrapade: A horses’s attempt to remove its rider
– Exsibilation: The collective hisses of a disapproving audience
– Fabiform: In the shape of a bean.
– Farctate: The state of being stuffed with food (overeating)
– Filipendulous: Suspended by a single thread
– Floccinaucinihilipilification: The categorizing of something that is useless or trivial
– Fuscoferuginous: Having a dark rusty color
– Gabelle: A tax on salt
– Gambrinous: Being full of beer
– Gargalesis: Heavy tickling
– Gargalesthesia: The sensation caused by tickling
– Ginglyform: Hinge-shaped
– Glossolalia: Fluent nonsense
– Gongoozler: An idle spectator
– Gossypiboma: A surgical sponge accidently left inside a patient’s body
– Gowpen: A double handful
– Hadehari: The practice of constantly using the word “Hell” in speaking
– Hamartithia: Being likely to make a mistake
– Hemolysis: Breaking open a red blood cell
– Hieracosphinx: A sphinx with the head of a hawk
– Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian: Pertaining to extremely long words
– Honorificabilitudinitatibus: With honor
– Inaniloquent: Speaking foolishly or saying silly things
– Interfenestration: The space between two windows
– Jentacular: Pertaining to breakfast
– Jumentous: Smelling like horse urine
– Kakorrhaphiophobia: Fear of failure
– Knismesis: Light tickling
– Kosmokrator: A theoretical ruler of the world
– Krukolibidinous: The act of staring at someone’s crotch
– Kyphorrhinos: Having a nose with a bump in it
– Labrose: To have large lips
– Lalochezia: The use of foul or abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain
– Lethologica: The inability to recall a precise word for something
– Liripip: The long tail of a hood in medieval or academic costume
– Lygerastia: The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out
– Lythcoop: Auction of the contents of a house
– Maledicent: One who is addicted to abusive speech
– Mallemaroking: The carousing of seamen on board Greenland whaling ships
– Mammothrept: A child who is raised and spoiled by their grandmother
– Maritodespotism: Tyrranical rulership of a woman by her husband
– Matronolagnia: An attraction to older women, especially ones who have children
– Misocapnist: One who hates the smell of tobacco smoke [ This one was for me! ]
– Misodoctakleidist: Someone who hates practicing the piano
– Mulligrubs: A state of depression or low spirits
– Mumpsimus: One who sticks obstinately and wrongly to their old ways
– Mytacism: The incorrect or excessive use of the letter M
– Neanimorphic: Looking younger than in actuality
– Necrotype: An extinct creature
– Nelipot: Someone who walks without shoes
– Nepheligenous: Producing clouds of tobacco smoke
– Nidorosity: Belching with the taste of undigested meat
– Nudiustertian: Pertaining to the day before yesterday
– Oculoplania: Letting one’s eyes wander while assessing someone’s charms
– Onychophagy: The habit of biting one’s fingernails
– Pandiculation: Stretching and yawning before going to bed or after waking up
– Petrichor: The smell of rain on dry ground
– Philosophunculist: One who pretends to know more than they do to impress others
– Pogonotomy: The act of cutting a beard
– Polyphloisboian: Making a lot of noise or loud racket
– Preantepenultimate: Fourth from last
– Prosopography: The description of a person’s appearance
– Psithurism: The sound of wind in trees or rustling leaves
– Pyknic: Short and fat
– Qualtagh: The first person you see after leaving your house
– Quidnunc: One who always wants to know what is going on
– Quomodocunquize: To make money by any means possible
– Rabiator: Someone greedy and violent
– Recumbentibus: A knockout blow, either verbal or physical
– Rhaebosis: Synonym for curvature
– Runcation: The act of weeding
– Sabrage: The act of opening a bottle with a sabre
– Saprostomous: Having bad breath
– Scacchic: Pertaining to the game of chess, or to chess pieces
– Sciapodous: Having huge feet
– Scolecophagous: One who eats worms
– Sgiomlaireached: The habit of dropping in at mealtimes
– Slubberdegullion: A filthy, slobbering person
– Sphallolalia: Flirtatious talk that leads nowhere
– Steatopygic: Having a fat buttocks
– Strikhedonia: The pleasure of being able to say to hell with it
– Tachyphagia: Fast eating
– Tarantism: An urge to overcome melancholy by dancing
– Tetrapyloctomy: The act of splitting a hair four ways
– Thelemic: Permitting people to do as they like
– Ulotrichous: Having very wooly hair
– Ultracrepidarian: Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge
– Usufructuary: A person who has use or enjoyment of something, especially property
– Utriform: In the shape of a leather bottle
– Ventripotent: Big-bellied, gluttonous
– Vesthibitionism: The flirtatious display of undergarments by a woman
– Viraginity: Masculine qualities in a woman
– Wanweird: An unhappy fate
– Witzelsucht: A feeble attempt at humor
– Wroth: Synonym for anger
– Xanthic: Yellow in color
– Xenobombulate: To malinger
– Xerophagy: A diet of bread and water
– Ximelolagnia: The urge to stare at women who are sitting with crossed legs
– Xylopolist: One who sells wood products
– Xyresic: With the same sharpness as a razor
– Xystus: A large porch used for athletic purposes in the winter
– Yclept: To have been called by a certain name
– Ypsiliform: Shaped like the Greek letter upsilon
– Zenzizenzizenzic: A number raised to the eighth power
– Zwitterion: a compound that has an overall neutral charge but contains atoms with positive and negative charges.

… and many, many more!!!

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WHAT MAKES A DAD
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle’s flight.
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete, And so, He called it—Dad.
[Author unknown]

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MURPHY’S FUNDAMENTAL LAWS
1) If anything can go wrong, invariably it will
2) Nothing is ever as simple as it first seems
3) Everything you decide to do costs more than first estimated
4) Every activity takes more time than you have
5) By trying to please everybody, somebody will be displeased
6) It is a fundamental law of nature that nothing ever quite works out
7) It is easier to make a commitment or to get involved in something than to get out of it
8) Whatever you set out to do, something else must be done first
9) If you improve or tinker with something long enough, eventually it will break or misfunction
10) By making something absolutely clear, someone will become confused
11) Every clarification breeds new questions
12) You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time-and that is sufficient
13) Persons disagreeing with your facts are always emotional and employ faulty reasoning
14) Enough research will tend to support your conclusions
15) The greater the importance of decisions to be made the larger must be the committee assigned to make them
16) The more urgent the need for decision the less apparent becomes the identity of the decision-maker
17) The more complex the idea or technology the more simple-minded is the opposition
18) Each profession talks to itself in its own unique language, apparently there is no Rosetta Stone

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BRINGING UP FATHER
When I was a boy of 14,
my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have
the old man around.

But when I got to be 21,
I was astonished at how much
the old man had learned in seven years.
[Mark Twain]

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DEEP THOUGHT:
“Let us all reflect and remember the special people that have been in our lives past—how they were an influence on the person we have become–and how the ‘seed’ they planted in us will continue to ‘grow’ and influence us even after they have left this Earth.”
[Mark Besh]

“If you have the proper ‘grip’ on life, you will stay out of the ‘bunkers’!” [Gene Besh]

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Hope you enjoyed some of these insights—share them with your friends and colleagues—so we can have a larger ‘pool’ to receive from, and more to share with! Also, remember to include your name as the “source,” if some of this wisdom is of your doing—I would like to give credit where credit is due!

“Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation.” [Joel 1:3].

Mark

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Disclaimer: All the above jokes & inspirations are obtained from various sources and copyright are used when known. Other than our name and headers, we do not own the copyright to any of the materials sent to this list. We just want to spread the ministry of God’s love and cheerfulness throughout the world.

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